““She’s one of us.””
I remember hearing this phrase like it was yesterday, even though it was decades ago. I happened to overhear members of a search committee speaking about a candidate who had just completed her interview. I also distinctly remember feeling uncomfortable.
Why was I so uncomfortable?
The statement seems innocuous. In fact, the committee member who said it meant for it as a compliment—and even suggested it as a reason to hire the individual. The other committee members expressed their agreement.
So why did it make me feel so bad?
I felt bad because I immediately thought that I “wasn’t one of them”. And although I had felt this a little before, my single motherhood, the neighborhood I lived in, my clothing, my car, all sorts of things that had nothing to do with my capability at work were suddenly liabilities that I would not be able to overcome. I felt as though I didn’t belong.
This feeling of belonging at work is something we spoke to Wendy Anderton about in the 92,000 Hours podcast (releasing Oct. 13). As a state and national leader within the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO), Wendy purposefully referenced her prior abusive marriage in her NAWBO bio. When I remarked that I found that to be both unusual and courageous, she explained that many women experience abuse—and she can use her own experience as a catalyst for her desire to stand up for women.
As a community leader, CEO, and volunteer, Wendy’s openness about her life experiences can provide a powerful opportunity to create a culture of belonging. As an organizational leader, she has privilege. By openly speaking her truth, she can use that privilege to create belonging.
“Understanding our own privilege at work can be difficult.”
We can view it with a negative lens, as if by having privilege we are inherently biased against those who do not. But that is not true. In fact, we can have privilege and not be biased—and we can have bias and not be privileged. The key is whether we have the ability to recognize our own privilege at work first, in order to then empower us to do something about it.
I recently experienced another workplace privilege moment. This time, I was engaged in a discussion in which organizational leaders were working together in good faith and with earnest engagement to develop a strong organizational culture. Nearing the end of a long period of discussion, in which most of us just wanted to be done and go home, I realized that some language that had been developed used words like “the right people at the right time”. Remembering what it had felt like to not belong, I voiced my opposition. I noted that language identifying “right people” inherently implies that some people are wrong.
Speaking up at the time was scary, but it was also empowering. And within moments, dozens of individuals in the room began a much more robust conversation about inclusion and belonging within the organization.
“What might you do to support those with less privilege who are working alongside you?”
I recently read an article entitled 50 Reasons You May Be More Privileged Than Your Coworker. It provides a list of privileges that are well worth considering. What privilege at work might you have that you may not even be aware of? And what might you do to support those with less privilege who are working alongside you?
If those questions are daunting, we can help. At Connection Collaborative, our mentoring programs are designed to assist individuals in identifying privileges and biases, and developing actionable steps to address them. Leave a comment or send us an email, let’s connect!