The Lies We Keep & The Truths We Throw Away

by Annalisa Holcombe, Founder & Principal Consultant

One of the most decadent indulgences I know as a busy business owner, mother, daughter and wife… is to take some time to read a good novel. Recently I spent some cozy time on my couch reading an incredible book, James by Percival Everett. This book re-tells Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn through the eyes of the enslaved man in the story, and the author was recently awarded the National Book Award for fiction for this novel.

If you know me, you know I’m a harsh book critic, so when I say this novel is incredible, I truly stand behind it. There were so many moments I had to set the book down to allow the language and imagery to wash over me, to marvel at the author’s mastery, or to contemplate the important messages contained within the words.

I believe one of those messages is central – and I simply can’t stop thinking or talking about it. In the story, James and Finn find themselves running from a couple of con men. Finn remarks that audiences the con men speak to must surely know the men were lying, yet the audience members not only participated, they even gave their money anyway. Finn was confused by their actions. Jim responds that people are like that…

“They take the lies they want and throw away the truths that scare them.”

It is such a striking line. It hits at this deep, uncomfortable truth about human nature—the way we often cling to what feels good or safe and avoid confronting ideas that challenge or unsettle us. It feels like a reflection of so much we see today, where comfort or preference often outweighs truth, even at collective levels. While it is easy to point out when others are sitting comfortably with the “lies they want”, it is much more difficult to hold the mirror up to ourselves to confront the truths we may be ignoring in our own lives.

When we don’t hold up that mirror, we risk living in a reality shaped more by comforting illusions than by genuine truths. And without that reflection, we might unknowingly contribute to cycles of harm, reinforcing the very issues we claim to be against.

It can be painful to recognize the ways we avoid or distort truths, but without this introspection, it's challenging to grow or make authentic change.

I’ve seen this at the macro level when society dances around the edges of critical issues, especially when those in power seem more interested in maintaining a facade than facing tough realities. It can feel like the system is actively resisting progress, clinging to comfort over confronting difficult truths. And when you work in the non-profit or community activism space, the struggle between staying involved and wanting to step away from it all is real. It’s hard to keep investing energy into spaces where it feels like true, impactful change is constantly obstructed by denial or indifference.

I’ve seen this at the micro level, too, when forward-thinking, innovative organizations are overseen by individuals with a more traditional leadership mindset. Decisions can be made that feel incongruous, and employees or constituents can see clearly when leaders are providing comfortable answers (lies we keep) rather than difficult, honest truths. Over time, the organization begins to lose people and big ideas. Cycles of harm begin to tighten, and eventually the organization becomes part of the system it was originally formed to disrupt.

I encourage you to sit back and think about this, as I’m doing right now, too. At work, at home, in your community — how often are you choosing convenience over clarity or comfort over confrontation? On some level, each one of us wants to do good — but without that willingness to face uncomfortable truths, those cycles of harm can tighten, making them harder to break, and we end up reinforcing what we most wish to dismantle.