Ep 41: This I Believe Workshop
92,000 Hours
In the 1950’s, Edward Murrow asked listeners to reflect on and share their personal philosophies. It became a popular NPR series encouraging listeners to reflect on the core values that guide their lives. On this episode of 92,000 Hours, we begin winding down our season of workshops by asking our listeners to do the same.
When you reflect on your life, what were the major lessons you learned during the seminal moments and turning points? How do those beliefs shape the way you show up and interact with the world?
In this episode, Connection Collaborative Founder Annalisa Holcombe will share her core beliefs and the stories that inspired them. She’ll share the transformative power of vulnerability, how authenticity changed her life, and why human connection is the driving force of the universe.
Get our This I Believe worksheet here.
Listen to NPR’s This I Believe series here.
If you want to leave us a voicemail about your thoughts on this episode, you can reach us at 385-501-7333 or annalisa@connectioncollaborative.com.
Transcript
Hello and welcome to the 92000 Hours podcast. I’m your host, Annalisa Holcombe. In this podcast, we talk about the fact that we spend most of our lives – 92000 Hours – at work. More than we do anything else in our lives except sleep! Knowing that’s the case, we focus on ways that we can honor that time, infuse it with meaning, and make sure that this thing that takes up most of our life actually reflects our values and vision and . . . our life?
This season we have produced workshops on exercises and reflections we have used in our practice over the years to help people make sense of their purpose and reflect on who they are at work, at home, and in community. This week, we begin to close the workshop series, and the exercise we will do together is called “This I Believe”. I think you’ll like it. Let’s get started.
But first, let’s review our past workshops. The work we’ve done so far has been integral to the work we’ll do today. We’ve covered trust, vulnerability, identity, fear, grief, values, priorities, and walking a different path. Each of these workshops have built on each other, and this one is no different. As we move forward I encourage you to look at some of your work and writing on those prior subjects and to refamiliarize yourself with . . . you.
Because here’s the thing – in order to do the work of this episode you’ll have to dig deep into your knowledge of yourself. Back in the 1950’s there was a radio show hosted by Edward R. Murrow. In that show he asked people to share their personal philosophies. This later became a feature on NPR, and it is now a non-profit organization that houses these stories and continues to collect new ones.
Each “This I Believe” story is short, but so powerful. Some of them are funny, most of them are poignant. Before you get started in this exercise for yourself, you may want to take a look at some of these stories, some great ones are curated at https://www.npr.org/series/4538138/this-i-believe
The titles are the philosophies – you’ll see Muhammed Ali saying he believes that he is still the greatest – which is really about his philosophy of believing in himself, and encouraging others to do so as well. A woman talks about her belief in forgiveness, and the relationship she has built with her perpetrator through the act of forgiving. Another person talks about her belief in neighbors, and that the relationships we build are actually what the American dream is all about.
What I’d like you to do is reflect on your life and on your learnings throughout this workshop series. What are themes that you see? Resilience? Ambition? Joy? Do you see family? Community? Are there particular people? Do you see your calling? Your career? Your hobbies? When you give yourself the stillness to contemplate the stories you’ve already been telling about your life . . . what are those stories about? How can you pay attention to yourself enough to develop the story of your own beliefs and philosophies?
When I did this, I used the tool of a reflective personal essay. Looking back at my life, were there any particular lessons I’ve learned or epiphanies I’ve had – or put another way, what were the seminal moments in my life to date, and what lessons did I learn from them? What made THEM the moments that feel particularly important to me?
I thought I’d be vulnerable myself here and share my belief statements, and encourage you to do the same. So, with no further ado, here are my personal philosophies, my own “This I Believe” statements. I have 5 of them. I only expect you to work on one. Here they are:
I believe that my vulnerabilities are my superpowers.
I believe that authenticity is the key to love and acceptance.
I believe that human connection is the most powerful engine in the universe.
I believe that belonging fosters potential.
I believe that integrity is both a bridge and a ladder.
Each of these belief statements come with their own stories, their own seminal moments, and sometimes the lessons were difficult. But they all fully resonate with me, and even though I wrote them about 5 years ago, they continue to provide sensemaking and help me to both tell and understand the story of my own life. For example:
“I Believe that my vulnerabilities are my superpowers”.
I come from a family that was steeped in shame. My grandmother - married to a coal-miner at 15 years old – carried her shame with her, and it came out as insecurity. The ideas of class and not quite fitting in were sometimes weights that held me down, and kept some of my family members down, too. Some of those things that felt like shame were things I spent decades not talking about. Avoiding. And I still struggle. I hear those things in my head – I’m adopted, I’m the little girl who “let” someone abuse her. I’m the kid who smells like cigarette smoke at school. I’m the young adult whose dad died of lung cancer. I’m the college student who couldn’t afford to live on campus. I’m the child of an alcoholic.
But . . . because of these vulnerabilities . . . I know how to be resilient. I know what fierce love can do. I know how to manage volatile situations. I know what pain looks like. I know I can handle it. And I know what love looks like, too. Those vulnerabilities, looked at another way, have given me loads of courage and have served me well.
“I Believe that authenticity is the key to love and acceptance.”
I fought hard to be a certain type of person. I thought that I’d “escape” my circumstances if I just became a lawyer, if I moved to another part of town, but the adage is true: “wherever you go, there you are.” You can’t escape yourself. I’ve had a knack of empathizing with others my whole life. I feel deeply for others’ circumstances. But everything changed for me when I finally started to actually empathize with myself. When I finally began to see myself authentically, and to empathize and love myself as the actual, authentic human I am, everything got better. I was a better mother, I found love, I felt seen. I no longer try to be a certain type of person in a courtroom or a board room. I am always me. And feeling seen, truly, by yourself – and still loving and accepting yourself? That opens up a whole world of love and acceptance.
“I Believe that human connection is the most powerful engine in the universe.”
You can’t truly connect with others until you’ve accepted and learned to love yourself. But once that happens . . . wow. People often think that I’m an extrovert because I love talking to people. But - I’m not. I love connecting with people, deeply. I’m not interested in small talk and dinner parties are hard on me. For example, a few months ago I found myself at a brew pub in Wisconsin with a man who has a degree from Harvard divinity school. I turned to him, with his beer in hand, and said “can we talk about the death of religion in America?”. He laughed and said here? Now? Over beers? And I said yes, please. And the conversation that happened that night is one I still reflect on. I don’t know much about that man in terms of standard brew pub talk – I don’t know about his kids or the team he roots for or even what he likes about his job. But I know his philosophy on religion and spirituality and the importance of human connection. If you know me, then this probably doesn’t surprise you. When I have the chance to ask the curious question and to understand the humanity of the person next to me, I better understand the world we live in. I have a deeper sense of connection to who the people I meet REALLY are, and I take that deeper connection with me when I go out into the world and do my best to honor it.
“I Believe that belonging fosters potential.”
I have a history of feeling isolated and different and as though I don’t belong. And we all know from both our personal experience, but also research on sense of belonging, that this feeling of being part of the group is essential to our ability to thrive as human beings. As I’ve gone through my life, things that sometimes “other-ed” me – being adopted, being non-Mormon in Utah, being abused as a kid, getting divorced in my 20’s, all made me feel like I was different, that I didn’t belong. In fact it was only a few years ago that I had this epiphany on reflecting back to my big law firm days – I remembered some comments and realized that so many of the people in that big law firm knew each other already, not just at work but knew each other’s powerful families and parents for generations. Sometimes we don’t know why we feel like we don’t belong but come to understand it later. There were times when I realized that people were being nice to me, and included me in things, but I had this nagging feeling that I still didn’t belong. As I get older, that is more and more important to me. Not just that I’m included, but that I belong. And that I make sure that others do, too. I’ve had the joy and comfort of experiencing full, true belonging in my marriage, and I’ve experienced it in the workplace . . . but I know now that my experience of full belonging at work, of not just being invited to the table but really feeling like my seat there belonged and was honored – was rare. I know that was the time in my career when I grew the most and really saw my potential as exponential. I believe that when people can bring their authentic selves to the table at work, and are seen and heard and honored, their potential will skyrocket and the organization, the people who work there, and the mission served will grow exponentially as well.
And finally, “I Believe that integrity is both a bridge and a ladder.”
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we make big mistakes that seem like we won’t be able to recover. But my entire experience has shown me that when we bring our honesty, humanity, humility, and integrity . . . especially when we are facing mistakes . . . that integrity will serve as a bridge to the other side of the experience. We can get through hard things, really hard things, when we focus on our integrity. When we lose everything, we can still keep our integrity. Not only will it be the bridge, but sometimes integrity will be the thing that others see about you that will encourage them to offer the ladder and lift you up. It worked for me. Each time I’ve found myself in a low place – my ability to hold onto something (even when all I really had was my integrity), kept me afloat and got me through. And people noticed, and provided ladders to new opportunities as a result.
I hope those belief statements are helpful. I encourage you to work on your own. We’ve provided a companion worksheet on our website at connection collaborative that can help you through the process. I encourage you to do it. This kind of sense-making, if you take the time, can be a powerful guide in your career, your life, and your relationships. You might just find that the advice you’re looking for is your own.
Thank you for joining me today. We look forward to hearing from you as you do this work. Use our companion worksheet located at www.connectioncollaborative.com/blog. You can find additional helpful materials at www.thisibelieve.org as well.
Next time, we end the series. We’ll do one last lesson and a reflection on what we’ve covered, and what you’ve had the opportunity to learn about yourself. I hope you’ll join us.
Hello and welcome to the 92000 Hours podcast. I’m your host, Annalisa Holcombe. In this podcast, we talk about the fact that we spend most of our lives – 92000 Hours – at work. More than we do anything else in our lives except sleep! Knowing that’s the case, we focus on ways that we can honor that time, infuse it with meaning, and make sure that this thing that takes up most of our life actually reflects our values and vision and . . . our life?
This season we have produced workshops on exercises and reflections we have used in our practice over the years to help people make sense of their purpose and reflect on who they are at work, at home, and in community. This week, we begin to close the workshop series, and the exercise we will do together is called “This I Believe”. I think you’ll like it. Let’s get started.
But first, let’s review our past workshops. The work we’ve done so far has been integral to the work we’ll do today. We’ve covered trust, vulnerability, identity, fear, grief, values, priorities, and walking a different path. Each of these workshops have built on each other, and this one is no different. As we move forward I encourage you to look at some of your work and writing on those prior subjects and to refamiliarize yourself with . . . you.
Because here’s the thing – in order to do the work of this episode you’ll have to dig deep into your knowledge of yourself. Back in the 1950’s there was a radio show hosted by Edward R. Murrow. In that show he asked people to share their personal philosophies. This later became a feature on NPR, and it is now a non-profit organization that houses these stories and continues to collect new ones.
Each “This I Believe” story is short, but so powerful. Some of them are funny, most of them are poignant. Before you get started in this exercise for yourself, you may want to take a look at some of these stories, some great ones are curated at https://www.npr.org/series/4538138/this-i-believe
The titles are the philosophies – you’ll see Muhammed Ali saying he believes that he is still the greatest – which is really about his philosophy of believing in himself, and encouraging others to do so as well. A woman talks about her belief in forgiveness, and the relationship she has built with her perpetrator through the act of forgiving. Another person talks about her belief in neighbors, and that the relationships we build are actually what the American dream is all about.
What I’d like you to do is reflect on your life and on your learnings throughout this workshop series. What are themes that you see? Resilience? Ambition? Joy? Do you see family? Community? Are there particular people? Do you see your calling? Your career? Your hobbies? When you give yourself the stillness to contemplate the stories you’ve already been telling about your life . . . what are those stories about? How can you pay attention to yourself enough to develop the story of your own beliefs and philosophies?
When I did this, I used the tool of a reflective personal essay. Looking back at my life, were there any particular lessons I’ve learned or epiphanies I’ve had – or put another way, what were the seminal moments in my life to date, and what lessons did I learn from them? What made THEM the moments that feel particularly important to me?
I thought I’d be vulnerable myself here and share my belief statements, and encourage you to do the same. So, with no further ado, here are my personal philosophies, my own “This I Believe” statements. I have 5 of them. I only expect you to work on one. Here they are:
I believe that my vulnerabilities are my superpowers.
I believe that authenticity is the key to love and acceptance.
I believe that human connection is the most powerful engine in the universe.
I believe that belonging fosters potential.
I believe that integrity is both a bridge and a ladder.
Each of these belief statements come with their own stories, their own seminal moments, and sometimes the lessons were difficult. But they all fully resonate with me, and even though I wrote them about 5 years ago, they continue to provide sensemaking and help me to both tell and understand the story of my own life. For example:
“I Believe that my vulnerabilities are my superpowers”.
I come from a family that was steeped in shame. My grandmother - married to a coal-miner at 15 years old – carried her shame with her, and it came out as insecurity. The ideas of class and not quite fitting in were sometimes weights that held me down, and kept some of my family members down, too. Some of those things that felt like shame were things I spent decades not talking about. Avoiding. And I still struggle. I hear those things in my head – I’m adopted, I’m the little girl who “let” someone abuse her. I’m the kid who smells like cigarette smoke at school. I’m the young adult whose dad died of lung cancer. I’m the college student who couldn’t afford to live on campus. I’m the child of an alcoholic.
But . . . because of these vulnerabilities . . . I know how to be resilient. I know what fierce love can do. I know how to manage volatile situations. I know what pain looks like. I know I can handle it. And I know what love looks like, too. Those vulnerabilities, looked at another way, have given me loads of courage and have served me well.
“I Believe that authenticity is the key to love and acceptance.”
I fought hard to be a certain type of person. I thought that I’d “escape” my circumstances if I just became a lawyer, if I moved to another part of town, but the adage is true: “wherever you go, there you are.” You can’t escape yourself. I’ve had a knack of empathizing with others my whole life. I feel deeply for others’ circumstances. But everything changed for me when I finally started to actually empathize with myself. When I finally began to see myself authentically, and to empathize and love myself as the actual, authentic human I am, everything got better. I was a better mother, I found love, I felt seen. I no longer try to be a certain type of person in a courtroom or a board room. I am always me. And feeling seen, truly, by yourself – and still loving and accepting yourself? That opens up a whole world of love and acceptance.
“I Believe that human connection is the most powerful engine in the universe.”
You can’t truly connect with others until you’ve accepted and learned to love yourself. But once that happens . . . wow. People often think that I’m an extrovert because I love talking to people. But - I’m not. I love connecting with people, deeply. I’m not interested in small talk and dinner parties are hard on me. For example, a few months ago I found myself at a brew pub in Wisconsin with a man who has a degree from Harvard divinity school. I turned to him, with his beer in hand, and said “can we talk about the death of religion in America?”. He laughed and said here? Now? Over beers? And I said yes, please. And the conversation that happened that night is one I still reflect on. I don’t know much about that man in terms of standard brew pub talk – I don’t know about his kids or the team he roots for or even what he likes about his job. But I know his philosophy on religion and spirituality and the importance of human connection. If you know me, then this probably doesn’t surprise you. When I have the chance to ask the curious question and to understand the humanity of the person next to me, I better understand the world we live in. I have a deeper sense of connection to who the people I meet REALLY are, and I take that deeper connection with me when I go out into the world and do my best to honor it.
“I Believe that belonging fosters potential.”
I have a history of feeling isolated and different and as though I don’t belong. And we all know from both our personal experience, but also research on sense of belonging, that this feeling of being part of the group is essential to our ability to thrive as human beings. As I’ve gone through my life, things that sometimes “other-ed” me – being adopted, being non-Mormon in Utah, being abused as a kid, getting divorced in my 20’s, all made me feel like I was different, that I didn’t belong. In fact it was only a few years ago that I had this epiphany on reflecting back to my big law firm days – I remembered some comments and realized that so many of the people in that big law firm knew each other already, not just at work but knew each other’s powerful families and parents for generations. Sometimes we don’t know why we feel like we don’t belong but come to understand it later. There were times when I realized that people were being nice to me, and included me in things, but I had this nagging feeling that I still didn’t belong. As I get older, that is more and more important to me. Not just that I’m included, but that I belong. And that I make sure that others do, too. I’ve had the joy and comfort of experiencing full, true belonging in my marriage, and I’ve experienced it in the workplace . . . but I know now that my experience of full belonging at work, of not just being invited to the table but really feeling like my seat there belonged and was honored – was rare. I know that was the time in my career when I grew the most and really saw my potential as exponential. I believe that when people can bring their authentic selves to the table at work, and are seen and heard and honored, their potential will skyrocket and the organization, the people who work there, and the mission served will grow exponentially as well.
And finally, “I Believe that integrity is both a bridge and a ladder.”
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we make big mistakes that seem like we won’t be able to recover. But my entire experience has shown me that when we bring our honesty, humanity, humility, and integrity . . . especially when we are facing mistakes . . . that integrity will serve as a bridge to the other side of the experience. We can get through hard things, really hard things, when we focus on our integrity. When we lose everything, we can still keep our integrity. Not only will it be the bridge, but sometimes integrity will be the thing that others see about you that will encourage them to offer the ladder and lift you up. It worked for me. Each time I’ve found myself in a low place – my ability to hold onto something (even when all I really had was my integrity), kept me afloat and got me through. And people noticed, and provided ladders to new opportunities as a result.
I hope those belief statements are helpful. I encourage you to work on your own. We’ve provided a companion worksheet on our website at connection collaborative that can help you through the process. I encourage you to do it. This kind of sense-making, if you take the time, can be a powerful guide in your career, your life, and your relationships. You might just find that the advice you’re looking for is your own.
Thank you for joining me today. We look forward to hearing from you as you do this work. Use our companion worksheet located at www.connectioncollaborative.com/blog. You can find additional helpful materials at www.thisibelieve.org as well.
Next time, we end the series. We’ll do one last lesson and a reflection on what we’ve covered, and what you’ve had the opportunity to learn about yourself. I hope you’ll join us.